I will love You, O Lord, my strength.The Lord is my rock and my fortress and my deliverer; My God, my strength, in whom I will trust; My shield and the horn of my salvation, my stronghold. I will call upon the Lord, who is worthy to be praised; So shall I be saved from my enemies. (Psalms 18:1-3 NKJV)
I have read this passage of scripture several mornings in a row this week. In fact, I just can’t seem to push past it. As I am writing this blog post, I am still in recovery mode from a surgery on my ankle and this is the week I was told to begin weight-bearing as tolerated. If you have ever had anything like this done, you can understand that I am not enjoying the process. I am forcing myself to tolerate much more than is comfortable. Don’t get me wrong, I am ready to get up and go where I want without hopping along on a walker. I am a little giddy about the thought of driving in a car by myself again. But recovery hurts. My foot swells, stings, throbs and threatens to quit if I don’t settle back down.
So each morning before I have started the busy day, I have sat down with my Bible and my coffee mug and read this passage again slowly and methodically. Sometimes I have read it to myself, but mostly I have read it to the Lord. I am well aware that He doesn’t need the reminder, but I most certainly do.
God is a rock; actually, He is my rock. He steadies me when I don’t feel completely balanced on my own. Not only is He my firm footed stability, but He is also my fortress and my deliverer. I don’t have to defend myself because He is doing it. When I feel overwhelmed, I can lean into His unwavering love and care. He doesn’t give me strength as some divine gift so much as His presence is tenacity and endurance in my life. My future doesn’t depend on my own small abilities, but hinges on the stalwart might and purposes of my infinite, unchanging God. The calendar can remind me that my return to work date is getting close. My own body can complain as it once again fights toward mobility. But my tomorrow rests in His very capable and loving hands.
So I set my face toward heaven and I say it again, “I will love You, Lord. I will trust You. I will call upon You.” I have made my decision. I will intentionally love the Lord even when my emotions are all over the place. I will choose to trust Him even when the future looms ahead like a shadowy threat. I will call on Him because He is God, even when my enemy is my own slow-healing foot and the difficulty of the season. God is with me, the sun is up, and my crutches are near. Time to get moving.
